Photo: A. B. Funkhauser
My friend the science giant burst my bubble last night, insisting that the Litigon hybrid, a lion-tiger combo I’d spotted on the I-net, was a photo shop creation. Once again, I’d been taken in. Stoopid me. This assertion left me vexed, causing me to down two Starry coffees in succession. How could the science giant be sure when the Liger, long celebrated and confirmed, attained legitimacy just because? I checked with Carl the Preacher. A Poncho Master and automotive technologist extraordinaire, he would know. “The Litigon,” he explained, “is like a Leopard or a rust-free Canso. It is a thing to be desired and sought, but it may never be found.” I thanked the preacher for his trouble and set to fussing over the firing of Toronto Maple Leafs coach Randy Carlyle, whose promise to deliver a winning team was about as real as a Litigon. Or so it seemed. The science giant called me this morning, explaining that the Litigon was in fact a real beasty, but that I’d got the science side of it wrong. “The Litigon is not a second generation product of two hybrid parents, merely the result of a lion father and lion-tiger mother.” Good to know. Free at last to believe in Litigons, griffins, dragons, and a balanced federal budget, I can only hope that the next Toronto Maple Leafs coach will do a better job. Who knows, maybe turkeys can fly?
For those interested in a peek at a for real Litigon, please check the following link. I dare not reproduce the photo, lest it be unauthorized, and a grey rain of lawyers fall upon my head. Cheers.