September 2017

SHELL GAME COVER 1It’s that time–the best time, really–when I get things ready for the next release. SHELL GAME, the third novel in the unapologetic series, was born in anger, raised in chaos, and released with tremendous joy. How could I possibly know that the sequel to HEUER LOST AND FOUND would be placed on hold in 2017 to make room for a “psycho-social cat dramedy with death and laughs”?

Here we are. Over the next few days, I’ll be penning micro blogs explaining SG’s genesis, the sub-texts that moved and grooved me, and the larger than life puddy cat that inspired a novel.

ARC’s are going out now. Stay tuned for feedback.

All the best.



May 2016

OFFICIAL SCOOTER COVERIn the weeks following SCOOTER NATION’s release, I have been blessed with very positive reader comments through social media and face to face meetings. A recent speaking engagement revealed that  readers were not only ‘getting’ the dark humor, but that they wanted more of it. What could be more encouraging?

As a gonzo mortuary revenge piece, SCOOTER is many things. Characters play it straight for the camera even as the world around them disintegrates into chaos. Their narrative should not be trusted. With everyone cloying for a different result, protagonists and antagonists will say anything to get what they want. Lines blur as a result such that readers can’t always count on their heroes to be heroic especially when backed into a corner.

What if heroes are villains and altruism is priced? This is what SCOOTER NATION asks and what the characters almost without exception struggle to answer.

Thank you for your comments. Keep them coming!


Geo Buy Link:


“Funky, gonzo, hilarious, brilliant.”

—Marissa Campbell, author AVELYNN

“Compelling, hypnotic, deliciously entertaining.”

—Connie DiPietro, author REFLECTIVE PANE

“Irreverent, hilarious and heartbreaking.”

—G.L. Morgan, author





June 2015

What's this? A novel?

Since HEUER’S release back in April, I’ve been overwhelmed by reader comments and reviews. Not only are they positive, but they are far reaching. While not everyone “likes” Heuer the Lawyer, readers who have contacted me clearly “root for him,” “get him,” and “want him to be found.”

This is all that I can ask for. Reviews are distributed across the Amazons, Goodreads and independent review sites. In an effort to corral them in one place, I’ve created this page and hope to keep adding to it!

Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts.

It is very much appreciated.


Geo Buy Link:

Busy Review

DOnofrio Review




This beautifully written, quirky, sad, but also often humorous story of Heuer and Enid – one living and the other a spirit stuck between this world and the next – gives us a glimpse into the fascinating, closed world of the funeral director. Years after their relationship ended, the past catches up to both of them in the most unlikely place – the funeral home. Fresh writing filled with rich vocabulary, this story features a vivid cast of colourful, living-breathing characters. This one will keep you reading late into the night until the final page.

—Yvonne Hess, Charter Member, The Brooklin 7



Had difficulty reading the last chapter through tears…
A wonderful story of love lost and found only to be lost again, forever. It awakens that forbidden love from our past when we were too young or perhaps to naïve…
This is not just a love story… taking place in a funeral home the spirit of Heuer, Enid’s first love, lingering between here and the hereafter, dredging memories of what once was and what could have been.
Would love to see the movie version in the near future.

–Annette Vettesse, Brooklin, Ontario



The macabre black comedy Heuer Lost And Found, written by A.B. Funkhauser, is definitely a different sort of book! Her protagonist Heuer dies but his spirit hangs around as he waits for his body to be collected a week later from his dirty, litter strewn flat. In the funeral home, ready to be embalmed, he finds out it’s an ex-girlfriend, now alcoholic, who will do the process. Add to that a talking rat…
You will enjoy this book with its mixture of horror and humour.

—Diana Harrison, Author, Always and Forever



Heuer Lost and Found is a quirky and irreverent story about a man who dies and finds his spirit trapped in a funeral home with an ex-lover who happens to be the mortician. He has to come to terms with his hoarding, degenerate past before he can escape. I love the character of Heuer, the Lawyer. He’s not a loveable character, but he’s as fascinating as watching a bug under a microscope. I found myself rooting for the guy, which is always the mark of a strong character. The characterization is rich the story well-told.

—Cryssa Bazos, Writer’s Community of Durham Region, Ontario, Canada



Author A. B. Funkhauser strikes a macabre chord with her book “Heuer Lost and Found”. Written from the perspective of an undertaker, she gives her readers a ringside seat at the Weibigand Mortuary where Enid, a middle aged woman with a taste for scotch, arrives on a Monday morning still in a stupor from the night before. Initially, the reader learns a bit about Enid and the history of the mortuary, its original owners and their heirs who continue to operate the family owned business, along with all of its eccentric employees. Early in the day, a call is received and there after a not so typical day in the life of a mortuary begins. Heuer, a well known middle aged attorney has been found dead in his apartment, where he laid for several days. The story now moves between present day and flash backs to a time when Heuer, Enid and others in the story are intertwined in one way or another. Heuer appears as a ghostly spectre to enchant us with his own take on his past, and his current impressions of what is being said and done as his body is prepared for burial. I for one like this book. I found it to have a similar feel to the HBO series “Six Feet Under”.
Ms. Funkhauser is a wizard with words and did a fine job of weaving this story of Greek, German and English speaking families that bounced back and forth throughout the entire book.

—Young, Author, A Harem Boy’s Saga Vol I, II, and III



Heuer’s difficult relationship with women and his mother seems to be a focal here, but so are references to friendship, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. The irony that it’s an old girlfriend with a ton of problems taking care of him as his funeral director, is startling. The author depicts the flaws and human nature in both characters. This book is an incredible read that does not allow the audience to “fall asleep” at any time. A MUST READ!

—Daisy Kourkoulakos, Mississauga, Ontario



Not really horror or occult, this book mixes soul searching with some pretty off the wall humour. When a lawyer dies in his home with his spirit body for company, he must pass the time reminiscing with the walls while learning to move objects with his mind. Once his body’s found by a sexy coroner he madly wants to date, he finds himself stuck at a funeral home with a bunch of odd strangers including an ex girlfriend who likes to drink. What does a guy have to do to get on with his after life? Scaring the crabby neighbor is a start. I enjoyed this book because it’s extremely witty and the characters do really unexpected things like house breaking and scaring mourners at funerals. Perfect for anyone who likes gallows humour!

—Suzanne Fairbrass Stacey, Keswick, Ontario





I didn’t know what to make of this at first, and then I was half way through it, and then I was at the end…but I didn’t want it to be over. Funkhauser made me learn new words like “aegis” and then I was laughing too hard to notice that I was actually at a sad part. Like Breaking Bad’s Walter White, Heuer is not a likeable man, but I somehow found myself rooting for him. A strange, complicated character. I have to look at him again. I hope there’ll be more where this came from!

—Kasey Balko, Pickering, Ontario



Multifaceted characters layered into a modern plot with plenty of sub cues based in the past. Heuer and Enid in their own way are similar so it makes sense that they’d come together again even if the circumstances are strange. Though spirit and funeral director never meet face to face, their simpatico is strong and their conversations are heartbreaking and real. The staff at the funeral parlour are good for laughs! Charlie, Dougie and poor old Robert the intern, who has to put up with a lot, break the tension and keep this thing rattling to a poignant conclusion.

—Dawn-Jane Dusomos-Guay, Cornwall, Ontario







Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

I finished reading Heuer in the early hours of this morning – had to keep going, it’s one of those books…. hard to put down.
I love the down-to earth-treatment of death, dying, funerals and everything related. All our secrets, our closed doors and hidden lives are flung open, and we’re stopped (sometimes mid-sentence, unprepared and unwilling) by the natural force of death. This book manages to give us a glimpse of that transition, while standing firmly in the real world of work, relationships, everyday life. Such a great mix of the realistic – some of it fairly grim – and the wonderfully imaginative. That ‘Heuer Lost And Found’ is written by a funeral director makes it particularly compelling, but while we are given ‘the inside story” of life behind the mortuary doors. there is still dignity, love, care and tenderness in the telling. There’s also humour, longing, loss, some great characters and good, good writing. The story drives along at high speed, taking you for a ride into territory that is both familiar and unknown. A.B. Funkhauser’s writing is honed to a high shine and is a joy to read. I’m so glad there will be more from her and from Heuer.

Posted by Wordworm on 27 May 2015


At first the book was a little hard for me to follow. Took a few chapters to really get into the book, but once I did, I wanted to finish it in one sitting. Couldn’t but wanted to. The book runs the gamut of emotions. One minute you want to cry for the characters, the next you are uncontrollably laughing out loud, and your husband is looking at you like you lost your mind, at least mine did. In the story you get to meet the staff of the Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home. They are a quirky bunch of folks. Then the star of the book Jurgen Heuer. He passes away in a very messy flat and while waiting to be found tries to figure out his new existence or non-existence I guess. Once he is found and taken to the Weibigand Funeral Home the story really begins. His ex-Girlfriend Enid is the mortician there. Heuer is one of those character’s that you don’t really hate but you don’t fall in love with him either. But yet in the end you want him to succeed. I was given a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. See more at:

Posted by Teresa Noel

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